solitude

i can't help but have that feeling once more, than i do not belong here.
but i don't know where i should be. there'd be a few people i'd miss so much
people that mean so much to me that i cannot imagine being away from them.
but then i realize and remember waht someone once told me. a true friendship transcends all boundaries of communication. a true friend is one you can call up after years, and talk as if you had never parted. and a true friend is one that you can also call the next day, and talk as if you hadn't met in years. it is that contradiction and paradox, that complication that makes so much sense, that is waht i see as a friend. those i know will go with me wherever i end up. but at the same time, it's other people, other situations, that make me wonder if i really should still be here. i just have the feeling i'm in the wrong place, and that has only reconfirmed itself since i went to UMBC, i know it's been only 1 semester, but i already get the feeling that the situation has established itself, and i'm not a part of that. the social networks have been spun, and they have embedded themselves and set, and i can't help but feel that there is no entrance for me there. but if not there, where? where do i belong? until i find out, i will have to tough it out. perhaps someday i will fit in here, perhaps one day i won't. for now i don't, but as time passes, i will find someplace i belong and feel a sense of belonging, whether here, or there, wherever i end up going.